i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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