Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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