One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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