Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
...so i touched it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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