Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?