Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

  (805): View more from California

  He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should probably go find him.

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  (805): NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be?? (805): He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is. (814): You should probably go find him. http://tfl.nu/673m
  Replies (11) Good night (3168) Bad night (1043)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you

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  (208): And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/dnhr
  Replies (15) Good night (3288) Bad night (943)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete

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  (309): Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete http://tfl.nu/n4gc
  Replies (36) Good night (6375) Bad night (1316)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  she pinky promised me she was 18

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  (406): she pinky promised me she was 18 http://tfl.nu/cbo2
  Replies (67) Good night (8162) Bad night (3226)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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  (802): i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please. http://tfl.nu/g6pa
  Replies (5) Good night (4258) Bad night (1651)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Did you get my bra back of the bartender?

  (1+61): View more from

  I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'

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  (+61): Did you get my bra back of the bartender? (1+61): I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile' http://tfl.nu/e0z3
  Replies (4) Good night (1823) Bad night (1499)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.

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  (937): No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie. http://tfl.nu/4p3o
  Replies (5) Good night (922) Bad night (1734)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.

  (415): View more from California

  No.

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  (920): Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay. (415): No. http://tfl.nu/olk0
  Replies (8) Good night (2132) Bad night (771)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.

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  (706): Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence. http://tfl.nu/oul5
  Replies (0) Good night (1172) Bad night (567)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home

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  (608): I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home http://tfl.nu/rt92
  Replies (6) Good night (1300) Bad night (695)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.

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  (973): We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas. http://tfl.nu/opmh
  Replies (5) Good night (1824) Bad night (562)
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  (510): View more from California

  Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.

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  (510): Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves. http://tfl.nu/hxwa
  Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (299)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.

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  (845): I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops. http://tfl.nu/fks7
  Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (328)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.

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  (561): Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later. http://tfl.nu/vwre
  Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (359)
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  (707): View more from California

  It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"

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  (707): It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it" http://tfl.nu/h7h1
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (444)

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