I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection