god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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