hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.