The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
