I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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