so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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