I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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