you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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