Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think I sprained my soul last night
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize