I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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