she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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