I think scott just propositioned me for sex
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
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The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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