We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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