I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
