Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
