just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
