She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
