this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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