it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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