I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
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She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
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She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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