Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
