why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize