okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
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