What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize