It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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