I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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