Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
