I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
farters have to be the big spoon...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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