i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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