i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
