I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
