did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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