I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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