Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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