Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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