i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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