I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize