tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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