yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
