Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
