We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
