Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
