I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
