I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize