i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
