hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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