But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
