Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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