Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
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As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
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Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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