yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
