There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
