Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize