good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
